Tuesday, October 28, 2008
1:35 AM
Now I get it; thanks
I know it deep down that no matter how much I rant it to Ash or blog here, it will still be there. I guess this is what actors and actresses in Channel 8 dramas mean by saying “有些事情无论多久，都不会随着时间而冲淡.” No doubt it sounds very script-written, now I'm experiencing the first hand experience - every bit of it.
I need to move on.
The question is 'how'. How am I supposed to move on when memories keep replaying like a spoilt VCR over and over a dozen million times a day? Following which I will be wallowing in despair.
Ok la, not entirely though. Sad maybe, I don't know.
I love to do this when faced with a problem. Especially a tricky one. Perhaps I have taken on a brain of a computer. 'If-Else' conditional statement, sounds familiar, eh?
I have XYZ problem, and I have the following options;
A) Take the first initiative by saying "Hi, how have you been?"
• Sounds very fake, but that might just be the key to the answer. Downside is, I'm afraid of rejection.
B) Hide under my pillow and pretend it didn't exist.
• This obviously didn't work out. But I'm stating it so looks that I have more options.
C) Basically, there ain't a 3rd option.
This is the first time that I'm revealing my inner-most thinking's.
Thanks a million Ash, for your ears and money.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
12:42 AM
2 down, 15 more to go
Finally, a long weekend coming up.
School oh school...(Yawn)
Econs and Accounting this semester is really no joke, the concepts are getting more complex than ever! GDP, GNP?? Some modules are really interesting while other are just…a pain in the neck/ass/everywhere. I'm gonna have to learn to love it. Oh god.
Grand Total for Classes skipped this week:
1 X Stats Tutorial,
1 X Stats Lecture,
1 X 30 mins late for WEC Tutorial,
1 X 20 mins late for Econs Lecture,
1 X 20 mins sleeping in Accounting Tutorial and,
1 X 20 mins late for Accounting Lecture.
What an impressive student I am. Rhetorical.
Went out with Jiali and Yvonne for a dinner just now. Ad Hoc decision. Recieved a somewhat shocking SMS from Jiali at around 2pm: "Hey, wana go Waraku? I treat u". I thought that my eyesight was failing me, but it turned out to be otherwise.
Now you know, who to contact if you wanna eat free lunch... LoL!
I was blooooody freaked out by Jiali and Yvonne. They told me in the restaurant before meeting me, they had eaten or had been eating if you’d like in the restaurant next door (some sorts of Jap restaurant I guess) for lunch, for a freaking total of $120!?!? I was like “OMG, what did you people order? Buddha-fly-over-the-wall ah?” 2 girls - Jiali don’t mention but Yvonne who is smaller-sized than the average? And it was no bragging, both of them took pictures of the already halfway digested food (if their stomachs had the capacity to do so) in their stomachs. Now I wonder why Jiali and Yvonne were so conservative for dinner. LoL, good luck.
Putting aside their crazily humongous appetite, we chatted a lot during dinner. Jiali shared about her problem at home. It’s really fucking horrible to have to face someone whom you have a distaste for 24/7 + every second at home. Hope she can have that “issue” resolved asap. Imagine someone damaging your stuff on purpose repeatedly; I would go wall-banging crazy.
Walked to Centerpoint and had coffee at Starbucks. Not that fantastic, imho. Taking sip-by-sip, we summed up the years that we’ve known each other, little have I realized that time has really passed. 4 coming 5 years in a row. It’s ironic you know, I knew Jiali through Desmond and the TAF walks we had, and I knew Yvonne through Shimin. But at the same time, I am not exactly that close to Desmond and Shimin. Ash is another close friend that falls under that category.
The same advice from Yvonne – “Someone has got to make the first initiative.”
Kinda jealous of Jiali; doing freelance work as a Creative Graphic Designer. If she’s happy, she takes on the project. If she ain’t, she would just brush off that fellow.
Life’s kinda boring these days. Study, work, study, work. Damn, I’m really running out of places to go during those chunks of breaks. Suggestions? Don’t call me go die/hell/eat shit etc ah.
Saw this statement on a passer-by’s T-shirt on the way from work; “Practice as if you are the lousiest, Perform as if you are the best. ” Somehow, it spurred me to work harder. Hope it works the same for you too!
I really need those grades this semester man.
| Life’s a joke. |
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
11:04 PM
The first 3 days of school
Hope that you're not bored from reading the crazily long previous post.
School has started this week and honestly there is nothing very fresh and new. Tutorials, Lectures...
It's only the 3rd day of school and I have skipped EM(1st lesson somemore) tutorial. Yeah, it's bad I know, but lessons starts 8 am 4 days in a week leh?
To cover up the long chunks of break time, I went to and fro from school to office. I don't really have a lot of friends or cliques in school so I guess its rather meaningless to stay in school, no? Anyways, on one of the days that I had a 2-hour break, I went to JEC which originally was IMM to get a pair of sneakers but didn't go due the rainy weather and the ground was rather muddy. Ok la, main reason was I lazy to walk.
After lunching, I walked around and saw this shop which specially sells Winter wear. That really reminds me that I needa go get some winter clothing's for H.K trip. It has been 4 years that I hadn't touch my winter clothing's and don't wanna imagine what is lurking inside those suitcases. I saw this cardigan which was really nice, but expensive. I didn't buy it even after contemplating for awhile.
Seeing that the time was still kinda early to get back to school, I went over to the nearby JE Library. Some sort of subtle sense of nostalgia rushed to my senses stepping into there. JE Library was a place at some time where I spent my Secondary school days cramping stupid science theories and solving math sums. Had a Green Tea dunno what drink at Café Galilee. Perhaps I've grown fond of being alone now; I now quite fancy the idea of listening to Jazz music through my PSP while sipping on a drink looking at the passersby though the glass windows while seated on a comfy sofa.
That's the best I can do now.
I'm beginning to worry about where to go during the long breaks. I'm racking my brains every other day. It's gonna get worse when the project closes. Fuck that.
Came back from gym just now; perhaps that's life, Come and go.
OK! I'm gonna study hard for this semester!
Bloody hope that the Visual Web thingy can be installed on lappy after tomorrow.
| Perhaps I wasn't a good friend to begin with. |
Friday, October 10, 2008
5:04 AM
Afresh
Mesdames et messieurs, bienvenue.
Not bad uh, learnt it off some Youtube videos.
This is going to be a rather long post!
Alas, done with the new blog skin. I’ve done tons of modifications of codes line-by-line. Can’t imagine that code-editing comes so naturally to me now especially when I can’t describe how much I hate programming. Must have been the extensive exposure to codes during projects. Although I’ve gotten the blog design off BlogSkins.com, the codes of the original one was kinda not in order. I know the design for the top is not very attractive, I ripped both pictures off deviantART but the pictures are quite nice right? Agree? Nod your head.
So in the midst of constructing a total makeover for Im-Ken.blogspot.com by searching and rummaging through my past web programming notes as well as ‘View Source-ing’ other people’s blogs and getting codes off Dynamic Drive, I also went through my previous blog archives. Entry by entry I read and subtly but visibly, the memories also came along just as a toothbrush comes in the toothpaste’s packaging.
What were the thoughts and feelings? Well, I’ve to shyly agree that its kinda childish and so, I’ve deleted about most of the posts I’ve written over the period of 11 months.
So more on my current on-goings, it’s the holidays now and I’m resting(on weekends) and working, at a office. This may come as a shock to some of you, especially when you know my retailing background and having said that “I’m not a deskbound person” or “Working in sales is damn fun” or something similar in nature. People will change, and will seriously change.
My days are over as a retail assistant; this is definite.
This I bloody hope so.
It is exactly the midpoint of Poly now, 3 more semesters to come and off to Pulau Tekong I go. The results for this semester? Well… I don’t know how would you consider improvement if the figures went up from 3.06 to 3.09. It’s freaking close to 3.1 and I’m not gonna say “Work harder next time bah” anymore, I’m tired of it.
But, that doesn’t mean I’m putting off my goal of graduating with 3.5.
On the consoling side, I got distinction for EPI, so did Wanni, not sure about Terry, Siew Hwa and Pin Han. It’s was really fun working with them, especially the laughter’s and nonsense we talked about during the rehearsals and preparation for the final presentation despite not really knowing each other until near the end of the module plus the tight schedules we were facing. There was even once I asked Terry “Eh, our group only got me, you and Wanni only right?” when the tutor gave our questions for the final presentation. I still went asking Wanni, “Who is Siew Hwa and Pin Han, like never see them before leh.”
Had a short conversation with Wanni over msn and she told me she is choosing Psychology for the coming GEMS. Not my cup of tea. Wonder what to choose this time round.
Chose my 3rd GEMS yesterday, yes, it is ironically Psychology. I was browsing through the Science & Technology cluster and most of them is related to Chemistry, Biology and those things that require tons of memorization. C’mon, GEMS should be modules that you can be coasting, in my opinion. And also, heard from YY previously that it isn’t too difficult to grasp the concepts, so hopefully, a ‘B+ or A’? This reminds me of the new timetable. One word, two in fact – Ridiculously hideous. But, I have scheduled myself to be schooling and working, so that it will cover up the chunks of long breaks. Some tutors who have previously taught me in year 1 and 2 will be teaching me again in this semester, really wanna see how their style of teachings would have changed. I’ve changed my homepage to Google for faster reference in the coming semester.
Bought this jacket through a blogshop set up by Wanni not long ago.
It is not really a very fresh-out-from-the-oven idea, I would say, but doing men’s clothing is definitely one. How many do you do see from the recent spike of online blogshops does men’s clothing? Not many. Do support if you like the spree clothing’s!
Here's the link » YourStylez «
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Not bad, pretty nice, eh? I saying the jacket, not the model arh.
Back to grades, report writing, I’m utterly disappointed. What was the causing factor? I would say I failed to deliver a good presentation on the actual day itself. Although I got a ‘C’ for Accounts, but I think its considered quite an achievement as I’ve gotten ‘D-’ consecutively for two CA’s. As for the other 2 modules, it is over and done with.
Over to the social side, I admit that I’ve distanced myself with the people in school. Like I shared with Ash over the phone that day, I don’t really see school as a place for socializing and knowing new people, it’s just a place for me to receive knowledge and get that Diploma, that’s all.
Even before the semester examinations ended, I’ve already been sending out resumes to many firms and companies as well as recruitment agencies for an admin job. At first, I thought that it would be pretty hard to land myself into a decent paying job or even a possibility of even landing into one as we(Yvonne, Yvonne’s friend Hui Qi and I) were told by the recruitment staff at JE Recruit Express that despite that we are looking for jobs 2 weeks before the holidays started, a lot of jobs has been taken up by other Poly students as some of their holidays started earlier. The jobs that are left are the manual ones, which I absolutely do not fancy, should I have the choice, that is.
However, it soon proved not to be the case. I guess it’s just lucky me, rare huh.
Out of the 20 odd emails I’ve sent out, I’ve got a few replies on interviews. Ranging from a market research company to retail sales to admin, and of which, I also went to a couple of recruitment agencies and one of them had a job confirmed for me at a branch of a local bank paying $6.50/hr doing some admin duties as well as safe deposits processing. I also went for a job interview for another local bank doing some distribution or something. Was very undecided as the pay and working hours was unattractive. Well anyways, the interview(bumped into 2 ex-classmates) was held pair by pair and the other interviewee who went in with me was coincidentally a Singapore Polytechnic student doing events management or something similar. I wouldn’t say that I’m jealous of her vast experience in managing events, it is just that we are all trained in different areas. Maybe this was the reason why I wasn’t hired for the job, but either way, I would also have turned down the job offer.
So jostling from recruitment agency to recruitment agency, I was already working in a market research and management consultant company undergoing training but unsure if I would pass the client evaluation. No wonder, now I realize why my mum always complains, “You know ah, anything got to do with banks is always very troublesome.” To get onto the project, you would go through evaluations after evaluations and umpteen times of role-play the process and try to anticipate the different scenarios. We also had to sign and abide to certain agreements, meaning that some things can’t be mentioned. At some point, I really had wanted to quit and move on to another company but I had eventually decided to stay on.
Along the way, whatever I had experienced from my current job and previous ones were exceptionally different. Office life is totally different from retail life. Going lunching with your colleagues and laughing with each other crazily about the funny things during interviews plus the gossipings. My work location is in Raffles Place, where all the successful people are in business suits talking to clients about contracts and the market outlook. Occasionally, you can even hear financial conversations in the lift and vicinity in view of the recent string of events caused by the credit meltdown and firm acquisitions/merging in US and the US government using billions and billions of dollars to bail out firms. Best part is, the pay as compared to my other jobs, is much better =).
That comes to remind me, ITP or more commonly known as attachment is coming in a few months time.
I went out with some colleagues - Vanessa, Leon, Hidayat and Wenyi for Kbox on Sunday. I was pretty shocked that it was originally Hidayat’s idea to go Kbox for the songs sung(by us) are mostly in Chinese and he, being a non-mandarin speaker would feel kinda awkward? But no leh, he sung some songs as if he knew those Chinese characters word-for-word which he memorized(his memory super good can). And Wenyi, although she such a mic-hogger, her voice was flawlessly melodious, exactly what we heard from Shuhui. Leon too, Pro ah! A few of them didn’t manage to come for they were down with sore throat. We had such great fun there! Singing, laughing and poking fun at each other, off-tuning…
Surprisingly, neither of us left Kbox with a sore and deep alluring voice despite number of the songs we sang. We then began to walk aimlessly in Marina Square looking for a place for dinner. Leon then suggested walking over to Suntec for dinner at Just Noodles which offers really great value set-meals. For a set meal, you can enjoy free flow of drinks, which includes coffee, tea, and Ice cream as well.
After dinner, we walked around Suntec talking nonsense non-stop and finally to Raffles City Café Cartel. I am glad that despite coming from different walks of life, different polytechnics doing different courses and for Leon, who just completed University education and stepping into working life, we were able to sit at a table chatting and laughing away sharing about each and everyone’s different experiences and moments. And finally, some discounts and perks I can enjoy from my NOW card, 10% discount on the bill. It’s a tad little, but better than none, don’t complain la.
Speaking of going out, I have not at all often been out the entire holidays. Besides the going out with colleagues, I also went out with one of my craziest friend at all times, Ashl… opps, its Ashley David Chan! We ate at ThaiExpress Hereen(the service was surprising good and we enjoyed a complimentary dessert as Ash had the Capitacard) and went over to Borders to view some magazines. Guess what, I bought the book - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Haven’t touched a storybook since secondary school’s morning reading sessions. Walked around at Takashimaya, DFS(I didn’t get that Gucci wallet. Heart aches. Next pay cheque, ok?), Far East plaza and Isetan followed by a short chat over a cup of coffee at Coffee Beans and we had stopped for the day.
Saw that gold-embossed “Made In China” sign in that Burberry Brit Check wallet Ash told me which I originally thought he was overly exaggerating but after seeing the real thing, it’s a damn turn off. No offense to anybody, but well, would you have purchased it for a 360++? I would give it a pass.
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Went out with Ash again yesterday. I was very late owing due to me oversleeping. Felt very tired after the gym-ing with Desmond in the morning. Shows how long I haven’t been exercising. We met up for dinner and I bought the Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue Pour Homme as my Acqua di gio has run out long ago. Ash didn’t get as he wanted to wait for the Gucci by Gucci Pour Homme which is coming out soon, I guess.
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Dad recently told me he booked air tickets to Hong Kong. Haven’t been there for nearly 4 years already. I’ll be flying off on the 8th of December and be back by the 18th. We’ll be flying on SQ(Yippay!). Heard some stuffs over at H.K side from Dad. Granny’s health isn’t as good as before and as moved over to Dad’s younger brother temporarily since there’s a maid to attend to her. Part and parcel of life, I guess.
I miss tons of things in H.K =P
The people, places, food and most importantly and the atmosphere there…
If you had realized or if you haven’t, I’ll be spending my 18th birthday over at H.K. Why if you ask me, can I just say that this place has really got nothing much for me worth celebrating? Pop open a bottle of champagne if you’d like, I don’t care.
朋友做到这样还有意思吗？你把人家看待是朋友，人家首先有当你是朋友吗？
I am not trying to gain some sympathy here, or whatever you might call it, but am I wrong to feel that its kinda strange that people whom you’ve known for nearing 6 years just suddenly disappear from your life and shun you for no apparent reasons. Maybe this goes to show how bad a friend I am, no? I was still hoping that they would drop me a message or something. Nevertheless, its obvious now, 7 closing to 8 months have passed since we have last contacted.
It’s really pointless to dig out all the previous stuff and compare on a case-by-case basis to arrive at a so-called verdict to see who’s right and not.
It seems the harder I try, the worse it gets. I think I’ll just stick to being the bad guy, maybe only doing that, I will get people to see me in a different light and appreciating me better. Sounds sadistic, but at least it’s better than me having to bear the burnt.
Ok; lets just put a full stop to this nonsense before it turns to some Shakespearean drama. Life is too short for stuff like this, honestly.
Perhaps the best explanation for such occurrences, which was also said by Desmond, “No one is at fault; communication is the one at fault.” Just enjoy the rest of your lives, drop me a sms or email if you’d like.
I’m so looking forward to my trip to H.K in December! Hope it doesn’t get interfered by school stuff.
School’s starting next week. Projects, exams... Argh, just get it over and done with quickly and get that Diploma.
Yo, I hope that you’re still with me. Thanks for reading my blog!
Once again, Je suis Kenneth, Salut!